Hi Kaavi,
I’m gonna be straight with you, because I think you’re focusing on the wrong thing, and it might actually make this easier for you.
The phone is not really the issue.
Think about it. If you take away the phone, what happens? He goes to the TV. Or the laptop. Or the tablet. Right? The screen always finds a way.
So maybe the bigger question isn’t “should he get a smartphone?” It’s what else he has going on outside the screen.
Your son is 12. This is a really important age to help him find things he actually enjoys doing away from screens. A sport, cycling, swimming, skating, martial arts, even just going outside with friends. Whatever he likes.
And I’d let HIM choose. Don’t force him into something just because you liked it as a kid. Ask him what sounds fun.
I’d also explain that you’re not saying no to the phone to punish him. You’re trying to help him build some balance first.
You don’t necessarily have to make it “phone or no phone” forever. Maybe give him some goals to work toward and revisit the conversation later.
You’re not being too strict just because you don’t want to give him a smartphone at 12. And honestly, I think it’s better to have a conversation with him about what he *can* do rather than just saying no.
Good luck. 💪